


I tried but couldn't get you higher than the cocaine

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Series: the weight of us (stand alone s4 fic) [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Episode: s04e03 The Final Problem, FIx It, Gen, I won't stand for such BS, Molly deserved better, Molly doesn't have time for your casual misogyny, Not a Sherlolly fic, Not your plot bunny, Spoilers, Strong Molly, Unrequited Love, they butchered her character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:03:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9338801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: She tosses the tea bag in the bin and pours the remains down the sink.No more, she vows.A woman does not need a man to feel complete, to stand on her own two feet and show the world that she's worth more than this.





	

_I tried to fix you, tried to help you, tried to understand_  
_But we always end up right back here again_  
_I'm out of hope, end of the rope and I'm scared to death how the story ends_

([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yB07RuA3-Bk))

 

 

She'd vowed to make 2017 her year, a fresh start on the road to something incredible. There was an opening at a highly recommended hospital in Cardiff she'd applied for, the lease on her rent was ending within the month and she'd put a down payment on a cozy flat not three km from the hospital. For one brief and shining moment, everything in Molly Hooper's life was as it should be. That being said, leaving came with a sort of grief. 

London was  _home_.

Pulling a teabag from the cabinet, she sighs. It is not without its mourning. Here in this kitchen she'd once fed Rosie a bite of avocado, here the stain on the carpet where she'd learned her lesson: never feed a baby on carpet. Here, the window with its smudges and broken hinge due to locking herself out of the house at one point. Here, the baby proofed cabinets installed the minute Rosie had mastered crawling. 

She places a mug on the counter and begins to pour steaming water in. 

Greg had bought it for her the Christmas that found Sherlock Holmes swooping in and ruining it in one streaming deduction. The mug was chipped along the side - aren't we all, she thought. 

Next is the bag submerging. It smells of citrus and jasmine; refreshing. Calming. 

 

The phone began to ring. One glance at the name was enough to make her angry. Who did Sherlock think he was? To waltz in and out of peoples lives and nearly kill himself in the process? He was just one more reason on a long list of why she had to get away from everything. 

_Ring_

She glares.

_Ring_

The tea steeps.

_Ring_

Her hands tremble.

_Ring_

And then, blessed silence. 

 

_Ring_

Why couldn't the man take a hint?

_Ring_

Angrily, she answered. 

"Molly, this is Sherlock. I need you to do something for me."

The tea began to grow bitter from lying stagnant in its mug. 

"Why?"

Sure, okay. Yeah. She'd follow him around like an overeager puppy, she'd unearth cadavers so he could waste her time by inspecting nothing more than the toes. She'd put her life on pause for one man....

_No._

"It's...it's for a case. Please." 

In the background, a voice echo'd but she couldn't make it out. They had company over then and he was rudely telephoning her. What horrid manners.

"...I need you to say something for me. It's important."

What could possibly merit this?

"What do you want me to say, Sherlock?"

The water began to darken.

"Tell me you love me."

Nausea curled in her stomach like too many late nights spent at St Barts with a detective who called her by a man's name.

"I can't do that...because you know it's true."

"Please."

Her fingers tighten around the phone, achingly hard. 

"You say it first," she ordered. 

If she's to break her own heart she's taking him down with her. 

On the other end, a deep inhale. A rush of words. "I love you." 

In every version of this scene in particular she'd imagined it as painted in reds and golds, love and hearts. Never this; clinical and forced. It's an insult is what it is.

"I love you," she returns.

It's partly a relief to say it out loud, partly  _I wish I'd already left._

 

The call ends shortly thereafter and snapshots fill her head. 

 _Pass me that slide, John?_ Molly.

That lipstick makes your lips look small.

 _The names Sherlock Holmes. The address 221B Baker St._ A wink and an unbelieving flatmate.

 _I'll take it black, two sugars and bring it upstairs when you're finished._ A rejected date.

 _John Watson, you keep me right._ Confirmation. John cries.

He has a dog and we go to the pub on Saturdays. I've met all his family and friends.  _You can't do this anymore, can you?_

(I'm moving on)

 

She tosses the tea bag in the bin and pours the remains down the sink. No more, she vows. A woman does not need a man to feel complete, to stand on her own two feet and show the world that she's worth more than this. 

2017 is for cinnamon scones and scalpels. It's for boxes marked  _sitting room, bathroom, bedroom._ It's cold feet on a sterile table, an aging fat feline on her lap, a flat in Cardiff. It is not for Sherlock Holmes and John Watson nor does it belong to London itself. 

She'll rescue a cat or two from the shelter, curl up on the sofa and watch re-runs of Glee, she'll buy _herself_ flowers and chips. By God, she will survive and she'll do it so well that no one well ever doubt her again.

And maybe, somewhere along the way, love will find her. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SO ANGRY ABOUT HOW MOLLY WAS TREATED IN TFP. SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL INTELLIGENT WOMAN WHO DESERVES BETTER. SHE WILL FIND LOVE WHEN SHE'S DAMN WELL READY AND THEY'D BETTER BE WORTHY
> 
> ***LISTEN TO THE SONG IN THE BEGINNING OF THE FIC FOR SOFT BAMF MOLLY***
> 
> (also she is not abandoning rosie. she is still her godmother and loves that child dearly. she'll visit, call, facetime but she will ~not~ be their constant on call babysitter; she has a life too)   
>    
> lastly, the convo with sherlock isn't 100% on the nose bc I watched the russian leak and I refuse to watch that garbage again just to grab the actual words


End file.
